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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

learning to love

You know what I think is great about learning how to fly... and learning how to live... is that along the way you learn what life really is... or what love should be in this case.

I thought I knew what love was once, and really it was just the beginning, and if I would have been strong enough to keep it going, it could have been great. And when I realized that I lost what could have been, I tried to replace it with something that deep down I knew could never be. And in the end, all it did was postpone the getting over process. I guess that's what a rebound is... isn't it. Just a cover up. A farce. A lie to get you through the loneliness. But when it comes time that that cover up runs out of cover, and your left with the guts of the situation, all you have left is a heart even more exposed than it was. A heart that can only be mended by self healing. No one can help you. By giving yourself to another human being the whole is the size of the universe, and God just fills that with his living and healing water. Without him there is no healing. Of course the part that you gave to someone is never going to be perfectly the same; it's an imprint, a scar, a forever reminder of what was and what was lost. But that stitch is what keeps you going, keeps you learning, keeps you living. With out the scars of our lives we wouldn't be who we are. So, as I have finally begun the healing process, and have finally started getting over you... I realize that although it hurts, everything that happened is going to be sown up, a reminder... a learning tool. A love lost, and knowledge gained. I move on as best as I can, growing stronger through every stitch and through every restitch. And I thank you for what you've taught me, and what you have yet to teach me, and what I have and will teach you. I'll try not to undo the work of myself, and try not to ruin what we are now by trying to undo your stitches, and I let go you go... and let God.

The future has so much uncertainty, and the only one who I trust knows where we're going is that God who created love. He created the one who is meant for all of us. Just like Eve was made out of Adams rib, I was made from someone for someone, and you to find that someone who is for you made of you... and one day that person will be revealed and we will finally know what real love is and can be.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Whoo

Just had a great time at bible study,

i'm just soaking everything up...
it's great.
I love the group im in, and i'm so excited
to get more involved with the church and their activities.

How God has provided is just astounding.

i'm so grateful.

Monday, February 1, 2010

boys suck

and he's an ass whole....