wow

Every day I fall in love just a little bit more with my guy.

In that last post I was loosing optimistic and than I read a quote from the bible,

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand it's own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it was wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love NEVER gives up, NEVER loses faith, is ALWAYS hopeful, and ENDURES every circumstance." 1 Cor 13:4-7

And I got my optimism back and the guts to ask if he wanted in this... and he surprised me by saying yes. So once again I am awed by his amazingness.

the change

over this last weekend I decided to make a major change in my life,

I rededicated my life to the Lord.

And although my "best friend" has pretty much just ignored me this whole time

unless I was with my boyfriend, it's ok, cuz it shows that she can't be there for

me when I need her.

And my boyfriend is having the hardest time adjusting...

I decided to pledge abstinence again,

and he's not liking that concidering I used to give it up

a lot. And now he's getting non.

I'm actually completely devastated that this doesn't seem to look like it

will work out, because I love and care for him so much.

As for the other people in my life,

I started flocking towards those who know God.

God has completely made me want to be around them and fellowship with them.

I went to a bible study and it was great.

I think i'm going to church on Sunday.

And I stopped smoking for those of you who knew,

I was a stoner and had started on the slippery slope already.

This change is the biggest and the hardest I've done,

I'm still struggling.

In short, if you read this, which i'm pretty sure no one does, know that I need prayer for strength and self control.