Reality Show

if reality was as dramatic as reality shows

we wouldn't watch them.

And sometimes I feel like if a camara started following me around

people would never watch my show.

However,

other times I feel as though my life

could be creatively written into a soap opera.

Or a remake of Hamlet...

the "to be or not to be; that is the question" part

not the my Uncle is taking my thrown

and killed my father

and is trying to kill me

seeing the ghost of my murdered father part.

Is that the right plot?

who cares?

not me...

No DRAMA!

cut the crap

say it straight

be straight up...

NO DRAMA!

2009

As this year comes to an end I've had some time to look back and remember what happened over this long long year. And although there have been bad times for the majority the year has been great.

My new years was spent with good friends, and I believe my new years resolution was to loose weight. That one is a continued resolution every year. My other resolution was to find love. That one caused most of the drama in my life. Love is a wonderful thing that creates dimensions in life and allow for learning and happiness as well as an ocean of pain.

I found Clay again. A great friends a great boyfriend. Perfection in essence and in reality just one love. Head over heals in love until I tumbled down the hill into the mud. I screwed that one up again. I'm beginning to wonder if even with all the effort in the world if we could make it work. Maybe again, probably not. It's nice to dream.

I graduated from high school. Made it through a year of hell. Choir was life and when it ended I let it go. Those four years we're crazy and I am so glad their over.

I started college. Wow is it great. I love learning everything I can about music and I'm well on the way to getting my dream. Only 11 more months of college until I can really have it.

Partying. hahah that's a great subject. I like it a lot. But i know that I have to focus more on college than partying.

I'm dating a new guy now. God is he amazing. Jerry. He makes me laugh, he loves me, he treats me amazing. We've been dating for three months.He's too smart for his own good and he gives me so much crap for my blonde moments but who wouldn't. I miss him so much right now. I can't believe I'm not with him. It's weird.

I hope next year is better. Second semesters of school seem like they always bring hard times. A year of love, life, partying, school, and the ever closer dream.



Quote of the year;
"Keep moving forward."
Song of the year;
Another Heart Calls- All American Rejects
Inside joke of the year;
Bloop (consecutive winner)


So many things have changed in only five months. I wonder what the next 12 months have to bring. Guess I'll start seeing :)

Fucked Up

How can life be so fucked up when it come to you,
and so perfect when it come to him?

You make my life hell some times,
but i'll never blame you.

We're perfect in essence,
and reality shows us we're destined to always cross paths.

You'll always be there,
I'll always know you,
we'll always be us.

1st Semester of College

This semester has been crazy!!!
It was my first in college,
my first outta the house,
my first doing what ever i want.

And it was amazing!
The first month was really rocky with a break up and drama and getting used to school. But by the second life was running real smooth.

Learning everything I can about music was amazing too.
All my classes were crazy cool and exciting. And just so fun.

Relationships were crazy. I started off with a great friend and a great boyfriend, change that friend to another amazingly cool friend and ended with my amazing boyfriend.

Now it's Christmas break and i'm ready for next semester to start... after a little down time.

:)

This is why...

This is why we're not good for each other...

because we'll always be in separate stages of life...
we'll always love each other to much for our own goods...
we'll never find a way to make it work apart...
we'll always have each other and never know how to get rid of each other...
we'll always remember the feelings we got when we saw each other for the "first" time...
we'll never forget how we feel together...
we'll always try to find someone to fit into the holes that were left when it didn't work...
we'll always be jealous...
we'll never fully forget the hurtful things...
we'll always find that we were always better with each other...
and we'll always remember that night when we gave our full selves to each other.

So dysfunctional... and yet it felt so right.


But I have to move on... I can't drag you around like my favorite blanket when I was younger. I have to experience different things... than maybe just maybe we'll find each other like we did two and a half years ago when our lives fit together like a well fitted glove.

sleepy innocence

I happened to wake up this morning next to an amazing sight...
a wonderfully innocent thing.
Actually, more like an allusion of innocence because of the sweet peacefulness of sleep.
Every noticed that sleep alludes to innocence.
The look on their face, the way they look so vulnerable.
I think it's such an attractive sight.
If you can find this innocent thing I recommend taking a picture, because being able to see that all the time is a gift. ;p